36. Tears in Heaven &...

Lyrics


Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way
Through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven.

Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please.

Beyond the door,
There's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

While I can't say that Eric Clapton is 'undoubtedly' the greatest guitar player ever, I do think he is very good. He has never really made a bad song and most of his songs are consistently great. So if you really have to choose the best Clapton song it makes sense that it is this one, considering that it is probably his most personal and emotional song. He wrote this for his son who accidentally died. Considering this the most logical movie to link this song to would be Robert Redford's Ordinary People. That is probably the best movie involving a family dealing with a dead son. But I didn't choose that one. I will probably write someday about that movie too, but for now I'll just say that I believe that Ordinary People is about more then grieving about a dead son/brother. In fact that's not even really about that. The dead son is used as a sort of glorified McGuffin there. Instead I chose a recent film that I knew was about a family dealing with the death of their son. 

The Movie: Rabbit Hole (John Cameron Mitchell, 2010)

I did not expect very much from this movie. I thought it would be a sentimental drama with some good acting (Nicole Kidman got an Oscar nomination for her role here). So I was surprised when it turned out that this is a very good movie. This is a very strong, realistic drama about a couple grieving for their dead son. It is not much else, but it doesn't want or need to be. There are maybe a couple of scenes that don't work, but it is always redeemed by the fact that the filmmakers have created very believable, realistic characters. Even more importantly these characters are good, decent and rational. It is also acted incredibly well. While Nicole Kidman got an Oscar nomination for best leading actress, Aaron Eckhart, playing her husband certainly deserved one too. Eckhart is one of the most unfairly overlooked American actors. There may be no one better then him right now at playing a character who tries to do the best he can and be a good person (in whichever way necessary), despite all the hardships he may face. He doesn't show that only here, but also in Thank You for Smoking, The Dark Knight and even Erin Brockovich. He can also play dirty sleazebags though like in Nurse Betty.

This movie does something I haven't often seen in an American movie. Near the beginning of the movie Kidman's Becca and Eckhart's Howie are in a support group for parents who lost a child. One person in this group is talking about how she sometimes finds consolation by thinking that God needed an angel and that that's why He took her child. This pisses Becca off, immensely, and she stops going to the support group. In most American movies, Becca would probably later on in the movie return to the support group, apologize for her rude behavior and listen happily to people talk about how God took their child for a reason. She may not believe in God, but chances are the movie would force her to accept that there is at least the possibility that God might exist and that if she would believe in Him her life might be better. And that there might be a chance that God did took her son/daughter. That doesn't happen in this movie. Not only doesn't Becca return to the support groups, but she finds that hard science can also make her cope with her dead child. As it is explained to her there are scientific theories claiming that there are parallel universes. It might just be that in one of those parallel universes Becca lives happily together with her still living son. Now I don't now how valid these scientific theories are, but that is not the point of the scene or the movie. We don't need necessarily need God to cope with grief. This is a pretty interesting point for a Hollywood movie. Hollywood movies are progressive, but they are progressive compared to the general attitude of the American people. There are really few Hollywood movies that dare to say that God may not always be the answer. The real strength of the movie though is that it doesn't claim that God cannot be the answer. There are people in this movie for whom the believe in God has made life easier. The movie claims that we all have to find our own way to cope with grief. That is actually too specific. We all have to find our own way to live. And anything that can make our life easier (without hurting others) can be valid. God can make our lives better, but so can science or comics or dogs or smoking pot, or playing squash, etc...