107. The Winner Takes It All & ...

'















Lyrics

I don't wanna talk
About things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me, now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say, no more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser's standing small
Beside the victory, that's her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear

The winner takes it all (takes it all)
The loser has to fall (has to fall)
It's simple and it's plain
Why should I complain

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say, rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide (will decide)
The likes of me abide (me abide)
Spectators of the show, always staying low
The game is on again (on again)
A lover or a friend (or a friend)
A big thing or a small (big or small)
The winner takes it all (takes it all)

I don't wanna talk if it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize if it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense, no self-confidence
But you see

The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all

So the winner takes it all
And the the loser has to fall
Throw a dice, cold as ice
Way down here, someone dear
Takes it all, has to fall....

We have made it through two posts without an ABBA song, but here they are again. Look, you can make a fair argument that ABBA is underrated, and that because they made breezy songs they aren't as taken as seriously as they perhaps should have been. But the love ABBA gets in Radio's 2 top 2000 is astonishing. We are only at 107 at they have already placed 4 times (they'll place once more before we get to 200). This is obviously not a breezy song, as evidenced by the fact that the video for it was directed by Lasse Hallstrom. I did not link the song to one of his movies though. 

The Movie: The War of the Roses (Danny DeVito, 1989)

The War of The Roses is certainly one of the most famous movies about a divorced couple fighting, but it's not completely right to connect it to the ABBA song. The entire point of the movie is that in a divorce 'battle' there is no winner. And it trows everything, including the kitchen sink to make that point. Especially in its second half it concocts the most bizarre ways in which Oliver and Barbara Rose can make life miserable for each other. In doing so, it is quite funny. Few lines will make one chuckle as much as "A family tiff seems to be developing. I don't know if we should leave, but I definitely advise skipping the fish course". There is also a downright bizarre battle between a jeep and a cabrio. The movie saves the dog, but is less merciful to the cat. 

Much of what I've described here happens in the second half of the movie. While it's quite wonderful, I was a bit disappointed by it. Because the first half of the movie is really something else. It's a remorseless depiction of how a family's American dream can turn into an American nightmare, without anyone being really able to put a finger on how and why that happened. Danny DeVito is relentless in showing the marching of time, and the lack of agency the Roses seem to have over their own life. This is of course also communicated through the narrative framework of the film. Their story is told by DeVito's character, a divorce lawyer, to a client of his. They meet in Nantucket, rather romantically, and have sex. Cut to the next scene, when they are suddenly much older and have kids. Cut to the next scene, their kids are even older and are now spoiled brats. Before you know it 17 years have passed since their first meeting in Nantucket. Their children are about to go to college, and the Roses are going to be alone in their comically large house. They never had a chance to find their purpose in life or their identity. Oliver is a self-admitted phony who plays the role of a cultured man in order to become a big shot lawyer. Barbara plays the role of the satisfied housewife, until one day she sells her self-made pâté and earns her own money for the first time in years.       

What makes all of this so powerful, is that Oliver and Rose are presented here as fundamentally decent, rather ordinary people. When they meet Oliver is a law student, and Rose is a gymnast, realizing there is no future for her in gymnastics. They have no particularly ambitious dreams, and mostly just want to live happily as a family. As the good American citizens they are, they believe that the pursuit of the American Dream will lead them to happiness. They don't know any other way.  They simply follow the rules/conventions of the society they are shaped by. Yet it's those same conventions that lead them to a life of misery. They don't seem to understand how that is possible. Even worse, they don't even know how they could try to understand. This is a more chilling movie than something like American Beauty. There Kevin Spacey is miserable because he isn't living the life he wants. Here, Oliver and Barbara are miserable, despite living the life they want. And once that life falls apart, it's not just anger that fuels their 'war', but frustration too.