119. Als Ze Er Niet Is &...

Lyrics

tien tegen een dat ik mijn mond hou 

(Ten to one, I'll keep my mouth shut)
als ik je weer zie 

(When I see you again)
ik ken mezelf zo onderhand

(I know myself by now) 
een prater ben ik niet 

(I am not a talker)
hoe was het hier 

(How was het here)
zal je vragen 

(You'll ask)
en ik zal zeggen

(And I'l say) 
goed 

(Fine)
maar ik zeg je niet wat ik nu denk 

(But I don't tell you what I am thinking now)
dat ik je eigenlijk zeggen moet 

(That what I actually should tell you)

een man weet niet wat hij mist 

(A man doesn't know what he is missing)
weet niet wat hij mist 

(Doesn't know what he is missing)
weet niet wat hij mist 

(Doesn't know what he is missing)
een man weet niet wat hij mist 

(A man doesn't know what he's missing)
maar als ze er niet is 

(But only when she's not there)
als ze er niet is 

(Only when she's not there)
weet een man pas wat hij mist

(Does a man know what he's missing) 

jij praat honderduit over hoe het was 

(You talk nineteen to the dozen)
over hoe je het hebt gehad 

(About how you were doing)
en misschien als ik op dreef ben 

(And maybe, when I am on a roll)
zeg ik een keertje schat 

(I say darling once)
dan vraag je mij 

(Then you'll ask me)
hoe was het bij jou

(How was your life) 
hooguit zeg ik dan 

(At the most I'll say)
stil 

(Quiet)
en ik zeg je weer niet wat ik nu denk 

(And again, I don't tell you what I am thinking right now)
dat ik je eindelijk zeggen wil 
(That what I actually want to say to you)

een man weet niet wat hij mist 

(A man doesn't know what he is missing)
weet niet wat hij mist 

(Doesn't know what he is missing)
weet niet wat hij mist 

(Doesn't know what he is missing)
een man weet niet wat hij mist 

(A man doesn't know what he's missing)
maar als ze er niet is 

(But only when she's not there)
als ze er niet is 

(Only when she's not there)
weet een man pas wat hij mist

(Does a man know what he's missing) 

pas nu je hier niet bent 

(Only now, when you are not here)
nu voel ik het in mij 

(Now do I feel it inside me)
nu je mij niet hoort 

(Now you don't hear me)
voel ik het woord voor woord

(I feel it word for word) 
voor woord 

(For word)

een man weet niet wat hij mist 

(A man doesn't know what he is missing)
weet niet wat hij mist 

(Doesn't know what he is missing)
weet niet wat hij mist 

(Doesn't know what he is missing)
een man weet niet wat hij mist 

(A man doesn't know what he's missing)
maar als ze er niet is 

(But only when she's not there)
als ze er niet is 

(Only when she's not there)
weet een man pas wat hij mist

(Does a man know what he's missing) 

This is a fine song, though I don't like the sudden switch into present tense at the end of the first and third verse. I don't think it's poetic freedom, just sloppy writing. In any case I've linked this song to one of my favorite films, about a man regretfully looking back at his failed relationship. Although not being able to talk has never been a problem for Woody Allen.

The Movie: Annie Hall (Woody Allen, 1977)

Well, the timing of this just couldn't have been better. Woody Allen just had another of his, let's say, unfortunate interviews in which he credits himself in an incredibly chauvinistic and Orientalist way for the education and empowerment of his wife. In that same interviews he claims to admire what is happening in television, but has not seen either Mad Men or Breaking Bad. He has seen, and likes, Hannah Montana though, which is at the very least not a smart thing to admit if you are Woody Allen. It's quite easy to understand why Woody Allen is increasingly disliked, and why people are finding it harder and harder watch his films as they can't separate the art from the artist.

I was going to address this even before the interview was published, but I do think Woody Allen's art can be separated from the man. And I think Annie Hall makes a good case for this. I think Woody Allen's real life persona is utter bullshit. He presents himself as this insecure, existentially pessimistic, uncool, old-fashioned man, who doesn't really care about all the attention. In short, he presents himself as a character from his films. I have read quite a lot of interviews with Woody Allen, and never believed there is much truth in that self-characterization. He has a set of cliches which he knows exactly how to deploy to pander to journalists, and dodge questions he finds uncomfortable or boring. I think he is a much more well-adjusted, (self)confident person than he presents himself, who knows exactly what he is doing. Of course, this makes his behavior and statements such as those in the aforementioned interview even more inexcusable.

I genuinely think few things make this more clear than Annie Hall. Alvy Singer (Woody Allen's character here) would not be able to make this film. For him Anjelica Huston and Jack Nicholson are unattainable gods, only accessible if you belong to the fancy, flashy crowd of record producer Tony Lacey. Tony Lacey, by the way, is portrayed here by Paul Simon. Apart from him, Annie Hall has cameos by Jeff Goldblum, Shelley Duvall, Christopher Walken, Truman Capote, and, of course, Marshall McLuhan. Diane Keaton is so fantastic and so convincing as Annie Hall, you forget she was not some plucky upstart in 1977. She had played Al Pacino's/Michael Corleone's lover in The Godfather films. So yeah, Annie Hall does not make a very convincing argument for the fact that Woody Allen an insecure outsider, or felt like one. He was as much as Jack Nicholson part of the in crowd.

Apart from that, Annie Hall is quite simply one of the coolest films ever made. Sure, it is filled with references to high culture and existentialist philosophy, and there is indeed a great underlying sadness to the story. The film is as much fantasy of the perfect romance, as it is a deconstruction of that fantasy. That's all true, and adds to the film's greatness. But before all that, Annie Hall (both the film and the character) is cool as hell. And it's at all times clear that this is a film made by an extremely confident filmmaker who is putting on a show, knows it, and wants us to know it. Woody Allen is here dropping the mic in every other scene. When I first saw it I hardly knew who Fellini was, and I knew even less about McLuhan. Nevertheless, I was in awe by the sheer chutzpah of that theater scene. It's utterly clear that it is filmed by a man who doesn't give a damn about film conventions, who feels completely free to do whatever he wants.

There are countless other similar scenes in Annie Hall. The scenes where past and present collide, allowing Annie, Rob (Tony Roberts) and Alvy to have a conversation through time with Alvy's aunt; The scene where Allen uses split-screen to allow Annie's family and Alvy's family to interact with each other despite being in completely different places; Allen's flashback to his school days, giving children the chance to speak as adults; Christopher Walken's absurd monologue, probably one of the first times someone discovered that just letting Walken go off on a tangent is a sound strategy for your film;The first scene between Tony and Alvy where we hear them talk, but initially have no idea where the sound is coming from. We merely see an outstretched street, with far away two people standing beneath a tree. We assume these are Tony and Alvy, until we see them walking and talking down the street; The scene in which Alvy and Annie's real thoughts are subtitled while they are talking to each other, and falling in love in the process; Annie's spirit literally leaving her body during sex; Annie's deadpan monologue about her dead uncle.

There are more, but that's enough. For now, let's end by noting that this is not merely Woody Allen's film. Diane Keaton here gives one of the best performances in film history, I think. Apart from the fact that her comic timing is perfect, this may be the most convincing portrayal ever of a shy, slightly naive person, becoming  more confident, without changing their personality.  And although Allen sometimes adopts the same chauvinistic attitude as in the aforementioned interview, Keaton never lets Annie Hall lose her agency. She makes clear that she is always in charge of her life, and that she is only with Alvy, because she likes him.